Washington Monument Strategy

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In the annals of politics is the legendary strategy once used by the National Park Service to avoid crippling budget cuts.  As the story goes, when the tentative budget cuts were announced the Service told the public that, because of the looming funding issues, they would be forced to close the Washington Monument. A great public outcry followed, and the lawmakers reconsidered the cuts to the Park Service.

To see how this strategy plays out in real life, I’ve asked the Hawaii State Tax Watch Doggie to play the part of our Department of Education (DOE).

DOE:  Oh, woe is me!

Observer:  What’s wrong?

DOE:  Because of the historic tax cuts that were enacted last year, our Governorrrr…grrrr…

Observer:  No growling!  The DOE doesn’t growl!

DOE:  …He asked all of his departments, including us, to cut our budget by 10 percent.  Whine!  What am I going to do?

Observer:  How about knocking off those shadowy programs that people don’t know about?

DOE:  I’ve got it!  We currently operate 29 learning centers at middle and high schools across the state. These centers host after-school and weekend programs from theater classes to robotics, providing students with field trips and training they wouldn’t otherwise experience. We’re going to cut them all!  Eliminate all the coordinator positions and torpedo their budgets!

Observer:  Why?  They are some of DOE’s most popular programs!

DOE:  (Thinking) Exactly!  That’s totally the point! (Spoken) But those programs are the least aligned with the strategic objectives of our Department!

Observer: What strategic objectives?

DOE:  Err, um, to educate Hawaii’s keiki DURING the school day, of course! 

Playing the clamoring voices of the public will be the Watch Doggie’s daughter (who may be our successor Watch Doggie because her dad’s getting on in years), in her Tax Foundation debut!

THE CLAMORING PUBLIC:  Please don’t take away the learning centers!  They provide so much value to our kids and the community!

DOE:  (With plenty of crocodile tears) It absolutely pains us to make this proposal, but it is necessary considering the amount of budget cuts we now face!

THE CLAMORING PUBLIC:  Noooo!!!

Observer:  But this is a $2-3 million program, and your budget is in the billions.  You sure that this program can’t be spared as opposed to some of the other shadowy programs that you have?

DOE:  We need to maintain our overall funding levels, for the more strategically aligned programs that we have of course, and to use our resources more efficiently.  Therefore, the learning centers have to go.

THE CLAMORING PUBLIC:  Noooo!!!

The Board of Education: Oh goodness gracious, in light of the sentiments of the clamoring public we need to reconsider our department’s budget request!  We can certainly ask our lawmakers to find the money somewhere else.

THE CLAMORING PUBLIC:  Hey!  Where are the treats you promised me after this acting gig was over?

Hold on to your wallets, folks, we haven’t heard the end of this drama yet. See you at next year’s Legislature!

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