Suzanne Gelb Image ‘Happy, But Lonely — Why Does This Happen?’ Q: Dear Dr. Gelb: I am working on personal growth and am making good progress at being in charge of my own happiness, rather than looking to others to make me happy. For example, today I went shopping, took myself to lunch, and had a lovely time. I went for a walk this evening and was feeling quite good, when all of a sudden I felt a loneliness and a longing for closeness to other people. I did reach out and called a friend, but mostly I felt a longing for being close and important to another person, and that is lacking in my life right now. I thought you might have some insight into what happened. Thank you. A: Dr. Gelb says . . . Dear Longing for Closeness: When a person experiences qualities of self-love, self-worth and self-respect, such as you appear to describe in your question, then it is not uncommon for those qualities to at times prompt a recognition for a desire for closeness or company. The nurturing qualities of self-love and self-respect can also provide the needed sustenance to support a person to not feel lonely, when for whatever reason they are alone. It is helpful to keep in mind, I believe, that each person is an entity unto themselves and as such we were designed to satisfy all our emotional and physical hungers. Trusted friends can also be a wonderful resource to replace feelings of loneliness with some good company. ‘Dinner Disruptions — What’s the Remedy?’ Q: Dear Dr. Gelb: I was having dinner at a restaurant and was seated in a booth next to a banquet table of an entire family. This family appeared to be affluent, well-educated and neatly groomed and dressed. However, the toddler in the family decided that he would entertain himself with a spoon and began to bang it on the table. The entire family thought this was funny, and of course it was annoying everyone close enough to hear it. I asked Management if they could correct the problem. They obviously ignored the request, and the noise continued. After about five minutes, I spoke loudly and posed the question, “Does this child have a parent?” Immediately the child stopped the pounding. Was I rude to open my mouth? Indigestion A: Dr. Gelb says . . . Dear Indigestion: As assertive as some restaurant managers may be, many are legitimately concerned about the embarrassment and retaliation that could result from an attempt to correct social etiquette. As to your abrupt statement to curb the noise, I believe that this could be considered rude. Some would say that a more appropriate action would be to speak to the child’s parents and let them know that the noise is bothersome, and then ask if there is anything they could do to correct it. ”Suzanne J. Gelb, Ph.D., J.D. authors this daily column, Dr. Gelb Says, which answers questions about daily living and behavior issues. Dr. Gelb is a licensed psychologist in private practice in Honolulu. She holds a Ph.D. in Psychology and a Ph.D. in Human Services. Dr. Gelb is also a published author of a book on Overcoming Addictions and a book on Relationships.” ”This column is intended for entertainment use only and is not intended for the purpose of psychological diagnosis, treatment or personalized advice. For more about the column’s purpose, see” “An Online Intro to Dr. Gelb Says” ”Email your questions to mailto:DrGelbSays@hawaiireporter.com More information on Dr. Gelb’s services and related resources available at” https://www.DrGelbSays.com

DENVER, Dec. 30 (UPI) — Hundreds of new state laws become effective Wednesday, cracking down on everything from terrorism to drunk driving.

In New Hampshire, those convicted of threatening or using biological or chemical weapons will face stiffer penalties. In New Mexico, drunk drivers will be required to use an ignition interlock system for 12 months after a drunk driving conviction.

Those two laws are among scores that take effect Jan. 1, according to survey conducted by the National Conference of State Legislatures. Many other states make their laws effective with the governor’s signature or 30 to 90 days after they are signed.

New Hampshire is the only state putting new homeland security measures into effect but about 1,500 bills similar bills were considered by states this year, according to Gene Rose, a spokesman for the NCSL in Denver.

“A number of other states are kind of holding back because of budget concerns and also trying to see what the federal government is going to do in terms of assistance to states,” he said.

State governments are facing budget deficits totaling more than $60 billion in the next fiscal year because of declining tax revenues. They also have to close the books are more than $17 billion in shortfalls incurred during the current fiscal year.

Other new laws address problems in education, traffic safety, criminal justice, labor, business and economic development.

Here are some of the new laws:

*North Carolina will allow teachers who do not wish to work full-time the option of job-sharing in order to address a statewide shortage of teachers.

*California will require a minor to wear a safety helmet with scooters, skateboards and inline skates.

*Maine children between the ages of 4 and 8 will be required to sit in an approved child restraint system while riding in a vehicle.

*Nebraska’s minor traffic offenders will have the option of successfully completing a pre-trial diversion program in exchange for charges being dropped.

*Alaska’s physician assistants will officially be recognized as health care providers subject to similar malpractice and discrimination laws as doctors.

*Californians will be able to donate to the State Children’s Trust Fund, a fund to support innovative child abuse and neglect prevention programs, through a check-off on state tax returns.

*Illinois state employees will get paid time off when they donate organs, blood or blood platelets.

*Utah health insurers and employers will no longer be able to use genetic information for certain business decisions including determination of coverage, hiring or promotions.

*New Hampshire hackers may face charges for introducing contaminants that impair computer operations or lead to the loss of property.

*California workers will know 60 days in advance if they are going to be subject to mass layoffs under a new state warning law.

*Kentucky motorists will be able to obtain special license plates that advocate spaying and neutering pets.

*Washington state chiropractors will be added to the list of those allowed to serve as officials at a boxing, kickboxing or martial arts event.

Copyright 2002 by United Press International. All rights reserved.

DENVER, Dec. 30 (UPI) — Hundreds of new state laws become effective Wednesday, cracking down on everything from terrorism to drunk driving. In New Hampshire, those convicted of threatening or using biological or chemical weapons will face stiffer penalties. In New Mexico, drunk drivers will be required to use an ignition interlock system for 12 months after a drunk driving conviction. Those two laws are among scores that take effect Jan. 1, according to survey conducted by the National Conference of State Legislatures. Many other states make their laws effective with the governor’s signature or 30 to 90 days after they are signed. New Hampshire is the only state putting new homeland security measures into effect but about 1,500 bills similar bills were considered by states this year, according to Gene Rose, a spokesman for the NCSL in Denver. “A number of other states are kind of holding back because of budget concerns and also trying to see what the federal government is going to do in terms of assistance to states,” he said. State governments are facing budget deficits totaling more than $60 billion in the next fiscal year because of declining tax revenues. They also have to close the books are more than $17 billion in shortfalls incurred during the current fiscal year. Other new laws address problems in education, traffic safety, criminal justice, labor, business and economic development. Here are some of the new laws: *North Carolina will allow teachers who do not wish to work full-time the option of job-sharing in order to address a statewide shortage of teachers. *California will require a minor to wear a safety helmet with scooters, skateboards and inline skates. *Maine children between the ages of 4 and 8 will be required to sit in an approved child restraint system while riding in a vehicle. *Nebraska’s minor traffic offenders will have the option of successfully completing a pre-trial diversion program in exchange for charges being dropped. *Alaska’s physician assistants will officially be recognized as health care providers subject to similar malpractice and discrimination laws as doctors. *Californians will be able to donate to the State Children’s Trust Fund, a fund to support innovative child abuse and neglect prevention programs, through a check-off on state tax returns. *Illinois state employees will get paid time off when they donate organs, blood or blood platelets. *Utah health insurers and employers will no longer be able to use genetic information for certain business decisions including determination of coverage, hiring or promotions. *New Hampshire hackers may face charges for introducing contaminants that impair computer operations or lead to the loss of property. *California workers will know 60 days in advance if they are going to be subject to mass layoffs under a new state warning law. *Kentucky motorists will be able to obtain special license plates that advocate spaying and neutering pets. *Washington state chiropractors will be added to the list of those allowed to serve as officials at a boxing, kickboxing or martial arts event. Copyright 2002 by United Press International. All rights reserved.

Lately in the consumer media, there’s been some brouhaha about Oahu “finally getting its own Tiki Bar”… and other exclamations leading some to think this is a new thing. May I remind the journalists; Oahu has been graced for decades, with what they term “tiki bars.” Since at least the 1930s, Oahu has enjoyed the likes of Don the Beachcomber, Trader Vic’s, and many others before and after them. Later the Waikikian’s Tahitian Lanai and the Papeete Bar. As these slowly closed and made way for the implementation of that devil’s motto chanted by developers and politicians; “Highest and best use,” these restaurants and bars were supplanted by chain stores, large corporate chain fast food joints, high end designer wear stores and others that could handle the heftier lease rates. So, as these Polynesian palaces slowly went the way of the wind, our friend at la Mariana, Annette, began acquiring many of the authentic artifact and decor pieces to fill her growing Tiki bar and grill; La Mariana. This has been in almost continual operation since 1955. We hear “didn’t we pioneer tiki culture back in the 1950’s?” We certainly did, although it was not known as such. Basically, it was Polynesian Restaurants, Tropical drinks, Old Hawaii style decor. The Polynesian islands were both the origin and the inspiration and the influence of this original “Theme Restaurant,” which was replicated and scattered through America in the 40’s, 50’s and 60’s, and even around the world. This current emphasis on the word “tiki” being ascribed to food, decor, drinks, has had somewhat of a warped effect on the genre to the point we have lost touch with the authentic, the source, the originators, much of which is still with us. We are scolded; “… we’re the last in the pool. Something’s wrong when Portland Ore. can beat us.” No, Portland did not beat us. After a visit to our islands in the late 40’s some fella named Roy bought a horse and buggy stop and turned it into an old style Polynesian restaurant. We here in the islands, have had the “real thing” for many years antedating this. Why allude to Portland at all, as “beating us”? Donn Beach started his chain in Calif. in the 30’s after travelling all through the tropics; Polynesia and the Caribbean, learning of rum and exotic food in numerous original “tiki bars” and Polynesian restaurants. We hear and see things like: “Why it took so long to get our own tiki bar I’ll never know” tells us maybe a particular journalist oughta get out more often, or do a little research on this intriguing genre. And please don’t act surprised that there are and were more authentic “tiki bars” around, ones that use real thatch and prefer no foam tikis. There are “tiki bars” all through Oahu, if one is really interested in knowing them. Heck; if you have any attachment to, or interest in the old style Polynesian restaurant, you can’t help but stumble upon them now and then. ”Allen StJames is a resident of Honolulu and can be reached via email at:” mailto:tiki@tikitrader.com

Ever since I fell in love with American politics back in the 1950s as a high-school Republican (and nephew of a state senator), I have believed that better government starts with better thinking. This conviction made me an editor, broadcaster, and think-tank entrepreneur before I ever ran for office. It’s reflected in the “Typewriter Service” neon sign and collection of antique typewriters in my Senate office. It led me to start Andrews’ America, a monthly journal of ideas, in 1994, and to put it on the web in 2000. AndrewsAmerica.com has just been updated and expanded. I invite you to visit there soon, and come back frequently during the challenging new year ahead. My journal, the Backbone Weekly commentary, and our Head On TV debates are all there. New at the site is an articles library, THINK RIGHT, along with an open forum for discussion of any topic at the reader’s choice, TALK BACK. Plus reports on my work in the Senate and a variety of Web links you’ll find useful. To think right can mean to reason well, to grasp truth, or to be conservative — or all three. What does it mean to you? Go to TALK BACK on our home page and have your say. Was Lott lynched? is one of the current topics there. How should we prioritize funding for highways vs. transit? is another. Please join the dialogue. As we enter a new year with reminders of America’s economic vulnerability, world leadership responsibilities, and the anti-terror cold war perhaps soon turning hot, remember that ours is the only national anthem that begins and ends with a question. How those questions are answered, each generation must determine. Our testing time is now. The thinking you’ll find at AndrewsAmerica.com, and the conversation going on there, are meant to help all of us as citizens meet the test. Thank you for taking a look. Yours for self-government. ”John Andrews is President-elect of the Colorado Senate.”

I was delighted to see in Rick Hamada’s column in Mid-Week Magazine that state Sen. Sam Slom, R-Hawaii Kai, was picked as one of those “who made a difference.” What a refreshing list, compared to the daily newspaper version. I’ve known Sam for about 30 years, ever since I gave him flying lessons many years ago. He is — as you said — totally honest, with unsurpassed integrity. His advice has always been absolutely accurate. His voting record in the Senate has been perfect. As you no doubt recall, he was one of the very few who voted against the “Talivans,” as well as many other misguided bills put forth by the “opposition.” While I will admit to a “slight prejudice,” in my opinion anyone who disagrees with Sam Slom is flat out ”wrong!” ”Bud Weisbrod is a resident of Honolulu and can be reached via email at:” mailto:weisbrod@myexcel.com