Atomic Monkey: Did Governor Abercrombie Fake Obama’s Birth Certificate?

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AtomicMonkey
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A surveillance video recently leaked to the media shows suspicious activity two days before the official Hawaii State long form Obama birth certificate was released by the White House.
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A surveillance video shows suspicious activity two days before the official birth certificate was released by the White House.

New evidence now points a finger at Hawaii’s Governor Neil Abercrombie as the possible source of the widely disputed document purporting to be President Obama’s long form birth certificate. Surveillance photos of the South St. & Queen St. intersection routinely monitored by the Honolulu Fire Department have been leaked to the media. One frame clearly shows Governor Abercrombie leaving the Kinko’s late at night, on April 25th, two days before Obama unveiled the “official” document.

The night manager at Kinko’s, Mr. Marvin Ishikawa, further corroborated what was shown on the video.

Close up reveals what was being produced at the marathon Kinko's session supervised by the mysterious "Mr. Smith."

“Sure I remember them.” said Ishikawa. “They hogged my best graphics machine for hours. I thought the short guy looked a lot like the governor, but he said his name was John Smith. I thought it was kind of funny that they paid with a State of Hawaii government debit card.”

Ishikawa elaborated, “They were on that machine for almost two days straight, and I have the computer logs right here; 12 hours of Adobe Illustrator, 23 scans, a bunch of PhotoShop and several faxes back and forth to Washington, DC.”

Asked to identify the man in the video, Ishikawa said, “Yeah, that’s him, that’s “Smith.”

When Abercrombie first took office he vowed to clear this birth certificate business up, once and for all, but by January of 2011 had given up. He basically told his friends that he simply “couldn’t find the dam thing.” Things changed in April, when the President sent a letter to Hawaii’s Department of Health requesting a copy of the long form birth certificate.

According to one un-named source inside the DOH, everybody, including the Governor’s Office, panicked, “We had to do what we had to do”

EDITOR’S NOTE: This report is in our satire section.

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20 COMMENTS

  1. “The night manager at Kinko’s, Mr. Marvin Ishikawa, further collaborated what was shown on the video.” Then Mr. Ishikawa is an unindicted co-conspirator! He would have been far better off to simply have “corroborated” what was shown on the video.

  5. How come this news about Obama’s birth certificate wasn’t on the KSSk this morning? If our Governor had something with to do with it, that’s SAD!

    • “f course, most of this news is a spoof on the news.”

      Maybe a website called Atomic Monkey, which calls itself a “spoof” website and post this story on April fools day, should not be taken too seriously?

      It’s hard to spoof today’s news though, since almost anything is possible.

  7. this would be funny if it weren’t for the problems with that birth certificate pdf given to the President – or did the President create it?..is it Hawaii, or is it the bamster?…or is it both?…will someone own up to the forgery?

  8. I knew it was bogus right away. If true, he would have worn his Groucho Marx nose, mustache and glasses disguise….

    But the supposed long form b/c is an odd digital document that ought to be dissected dispassionately by non-biased imaging experts.

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